THE KING'S BLOG

Awesome, eh! check out KingofGames.co.uk to see our quartet of top playing viral games, all helping to spread the King of Shaves and Fish, Born in Soho brands, world-wide.

I had the pleasure of speaking alongside Jerry Greenfield (of Ben & Jerry's fame) and Gerald Ratner (of GeraldOnline) today at the EEDA's Destination Growth 07 event for 800 SME's of the East of England at Duxford today. My talk was on (razor sharp) leadership, and I hope the delegates enjoyed my delivery as much as I enjoyed listening to Jerry talk about how he took on the 'Pillsbury Dough Boy' and convince Unilever to include a pie chart on ice-cream tubs detailing US military spending (the flavour was called American Pie).

Poor Gerald Ratner also gave a good account of his fall from grace since 1991, and how he has reinvented himself to get people viewing 'Doing a Ratner' as being the fall and rise again (rather than the fall and fall and fall...)

Also delighted to see Al Gosling, founder of The Extreme Group who was speaking, as well as James Averdieck, the founder of Gu & Fru - the chocolate to fruit chilled cabinet specialist.

I was delighted that so many delegates used and enjoyed King of Shaves, and met many interesting business leaders.

Thanks go to the EEDA organisers - I hope that the even the event exceeded everyone's expectations.

I liked this blog posting by James "Kibo" Parry...read on, wk.

From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Subject: razors with vestigial organs
Date: Thu, 15 Sep 2005 18:23:08 -0400

Gillette pushed its "Mach 3" three-bladed razor at men who needed
to scrape their face with a miniature Venetian blind.

Then Schick started sell a four-bladed "Quattro".

Not to be out-done in this abstract corporate dick-size war,
Gillette unveiled "Fusion", a razor with five blades.

You know, the first blade shaves close, the second blade shaves closer,
the third blade slices your face off, the fourth blade penetrates the
Earth's crust, and the fifth blade crushes the entire Universe into
a black hole.

Or, maybe, the first blade shaves normally, and then the
others don't do anything except scrape against your just-shaved skin
for extra irritation.

Science cannot answer this question of whether
paying for extra, useless blades may have a purpose!

[www.boston.com -- the Boston Globe]
->
-> [...]
->
-> ''Is it really going to be a better shave? I don't know.
-> It seems incrementally better," said William B. Chappell,
-> an analyst with SunTrust Robinson Humphrey. ''But Gillette
-> will market it like it's the greatest thing since sliced bread."

But sliced bread sucks! Only bread that's been sliced five times
is worth buying!

-> [...]
->
-> An enhanced lubricating strip, infused with Vitamin E and aloe,
-> fades from green to white when it's time to replace the blades.

This is expected to appeal to any consumers who already bought
the "TELL ME WHAT TO BUY AND THEN TELL ME HOW OFTEN TO THROW IT
AWAY AND BUY IT AGAIN" t-shirt.

-> ''Facial hair is not a concept Gillette usually mentions at
-> an event like this," Kilts said yesterday. ''But today, about
-> 50 percent of men sport some form of facial hair -- whether
-> it's moustaches, goatees, chin straps, or soul patches. And
-> there's no easy way to shape or trim it. That is, until now."

"You are becoming stupid, very stupid. You will forget that all
other razors, scissors, and men's grooming aids exist. You will
believe that until now, the only way to cut facial hair was
to slam your face in the car door and have your wife rip the
hair out by flooring the gas pedal in a sexy, sexy shoe."

-> [...] Gillette's new five-blade system arrives about a
-> year and a half after satire newspaper, The Onion, predicted
-> that Kilts would demand a five-blade razor after Schick
-> one-upped the Boston-based company with a four-blade invention.

...thus proving that satire is always ahead of reality, and
good satire such as "Saturday Night Live" and the original
National Lampoon is way ahead of The Onion.

So "Saturday Night Live" predicted "The Gillette Triple-Trac"
in the late 1970s, and in the early 1980s National Lampoon predicted
a razor with a large but unspecified number of blades ("the 12th
blade quotes Keats...") and the Onion predicted a five-blader.
Well, I hereby call dibs on making fun of the forthcoming six-bladed,
seven-bladed, eight-bladed, nine-bladed, and ten-bladed razors
from Schick and Gillette so that I can also be mentioned in
newspapers as having proven my awesome skills of EXTRAPOLATED OBVIOUSNESS
WITH REGARDS TO STUPIDITY. To formalize it:

Someday someone might sell a six-bladed razor. Wow, that would be stupid.

Someday someone might sell a seven-bladed razor. Wow, that would be stupid.

Someday someone might sell an eight-bladed razor. Wow, that would be stupid.

Someday someone might sell a nine-bladed razor. Wow, that would be stupid.

Someday someone might sell a ten-bladed razor. Wow, that would be stupid.

Oh, and:

Someday someone might sell re-sliced bread. Wow, that would be stupid.

There. I WIN!!!

-- K.

Listen here

Wednesday will see the KMI Digital team and our online gaming viral specialists, Kempt hopefully pick up a Gong at the 2007 IMA awards for 'Best use of Viral' for our 30m player King of Defenders game. With KMI's viral games having delivered over 60m plays in under two years, we reckon we should be up for a big Win!

My son (nearly 8) wants a Quad Bike for his Christmas present (Dad picks up iPhone, marvels at its gorgeousness and dials Santa: "What do you reckon Santa, fit it in your sack? Bit heavy? Agreed - maybe next year...")

However, if 'cash no object', I reckon a Segway X2 would be much more fun. Plus, with the pound so strong against the dollar, getting a couple of these to wizz around on, off and on-road must be on the cards!

After all, a Segway X2 is the sort of vehicle we'd come up with at King of Shaves (Gillette or Wilkinson-Sword would probably come up with a stretch Hummer...)

Get the message:

200k visits

3.5 min average view time

487 days total interaction time

40k opt-in registrations

King of Defenders:

27 million visits

4.7 min viewtime

95265 days total interaction time

45k opt-in registrations

Chris - next year, we'll enroll the help of HM Governments Royal Navy, including Aircraft Carrier, Fast Jet and Helicopter in a quest to ensure the judges Get The Message!

Went to see Ratatouille this afternoon with my son and his cousin and best friend. Well worth watching, made me laugh, and also contains an insightful piece towards its end from the food critic - one that prompted me to write this yesterday.

A rat cooking up a storm in a French kitchen? Could only be made in Hollywood, USA!

The story continues... Click here to hear!

With JT benched, and England shorn of its inspirational leader on the pitch, only Crouch shone in a game that was truly woeful to watch. It's hard when you've aligned your brand with a sportsman of the calibre of John Terry, and based future marketing activities around England playing a key role in Euro 2008. I felt they would achieve yet another 'Great Escape', but it was sadly not to be.

Of course McClaren should go, but a fundamental rethink of how England works as a National team is imperative - we now have a clear window to rebuild and aim for the World Cup in 2010, but it was a sad footballing day. JT must be particularly gutted, with England's defence proving so weak - but hey, let's look forwards to our team playing as a team, with the will to win.

Onwards, upwards...

KMI was delighted to be selected one of the final five regional finalists in the Bank of Scotland Coporate & Sunday Times 'Entrepreneur Challenge' to win an interest free funding package of $10m. Click here for further details, but you'll have to wait until Sunday 9th December to see if we won..

Did shaving lives beat out saving lives, keeping things Fresh or Lush? All I know is we enjoyed giving a great presentation, and a great evening. Thanks especially to John Madjeski, it was a pleasure meeting you!

Many thanks to Charlie Wong and Tim Wright who worked so hard at KMI on the presentation.

I was emailed an interesting article in today's FT. Click here to read it.

Products that get fat and overbloated with unnecessary 'gadgetism' come from lazy managers and directors in (generally) market leading, therefore complacent and occasionally arrogant corporate owners. It happens regularly - every 20 years or so, then the market realises what it's being sold is so overblown with 'unnecessary ' (yes, i know i've used this phrase twice in the same sentence) that consumers vote with their feet, and 'stop buying'.

And companies restructure, 'rightsize' or go bust with a vengeance.

The Gillette Mach 3 launch in 1998 was a superbly successful one. (Fat) Fusion however has been far far less successful - ever wonder why every handle on sale in the UK is 'half price'? Sure, P&G say it is doing well, but as I get to look at IRI data regularly, I can tell you, it ain't a patch on Mach 3.

Indeed, the disease of fat and fatter is regularly succumbed to. Cadillac and GM got fat - it started in the 1950's, then Nissan (then Datsun) and Toyota came along with the 'compact car' and look what happened to the US car companies.

And in the 1970's, Digital Equipment Corporation (DEC) regularly increased its data storage irrespective of whether customers actually needed more storage. In 1977, their then Chairman Ken Olsen proclaimed he could "See no reason why households would ever require a computer..."

That same year Apple launched Apple II. Enough said.

As is so often proved, Less is More. Form should follow Function. Lean green (Grean) should set the agenda for manufacturers, not Fat. Pulsing razors. Vibrating toothbrushes. Shoes which waft air around them as you walk. C'mon! If you want cool feet, wear flip flops. As Chris Martin of Coldplay croons: "Are you part of the cure, or part of the disease..."

Multi-bladed battery powered on-board micro-chipped razors garishly coloured and proclaiming they're the Best a man can get.

Trust me, where King of Shaves is concerned, the future of shaving is Greaner.

I was delighted to be invited to present prizes and awards to over 80 of the pupils at my old Comprehensive, Kirkley High last night. It was a great night - my Mum and Dad (who was a teacher there between 1970-84) thoroughly enjoyed it, and I hope the staff and pupils did too! I showed part of a DVD from our P1 Powerboat 'World Championship' season, and a couple of guys from Lings Honda, who won the Honda F4 150HP class were also there.

I was particularly pleased to present an award to Ben Atkins, who'd passed 14 GCSE's, many with A grades, and who seemed a particularly nice chap. Well done Ben - keep up the good work - remember, "Hard Work Now Means You Don't Have To Work So Hard Later!!! ;-)"